


Taking the Mickey

by TheSaddleman



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 1980s music, F/M, Fluff, Humour, No Angst, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:02:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26877124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSaddleman/pseuds/TheSaddleman
Summary: The Doctor and Clara are walking back to the TARDIS after seeing a concert by a popular early-1980s singer who looks vaguely familiar.
Relationships: Twelfth Doctor & Clara Oswin Oswald, Twelfth Doctor/Clara Oswin Oswald
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Taking the Mickey

**Author's Note:**

> This little story takes place at some point mid-Series 9. That's all I'm giving you right now...

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: A Doctor and a teacher walk into a bar...

Oh, you _have_ heard that one.

OK, then. A Doctor and a teacher walk _out_ of a bar...

(Except it isn't a bar, but a concert venue near Soho, London. Carry on.)

“So, did you enjoy yourself, Clara?” the silver-haired Time Lord asked of his companion, a petite, dark-haired, slightly shivering Blackpudlian who was bundled up against the late-autumn night chill, regretting her decision to wear an early Eighties-appropriate short skirt and reminding herself of Doctor Basil Funkenstein’s First Law of TARDIS Parking: the distance one has to walk from a particular venue to where the Doctor has parked his TARDIS is directly proportional to the time of year, the ambient outdoor air temperature, and the amount of clothing being worn by humans in his company. In other words: the Doctor could have parked the TARDIS in the alleyway behind the club, but _noooo_ , he just had to park it a healthy walk away—and the Tube had already shut down for the night, so it was no help. Clara fought back a sneeze. So much for a healthy walk. Though she did enjoy the feel of the Doctor’s purple-velvety coat around her shoulders. What the Doctor lacked in parking sense, he made up for with chivalry. The fact she could detect the after-shave she gave him as a birthday-ish present on the fabric didn’t hurt, either.

“Sure,” she sniffed away the sneeze. “Though, the music was just a little before my time.”

The Doctor scoffed. “Before your time? _Before your time?_ Coming from the tiny human who keeps begging me to take her to see Frank Sinatra. How old were you when Frankie last sang on stage, zygote-minus-three?”

Clara Oswald chuckled. “I don’t know, his music always felt timeless. The music we heard tonight—it was of more of its time. But still good, don’t get me wrong. What year is it, anyway?”

The Doctor looked up and stuck out his tongue. “Tastes like nineteen eighty-one.” 

“Yeah, right, Time Lord.”

“You got me,” the Doctor laughed. “That trick only works on certain planets and in certain cities; stopped working for London about twenty years ago. I got the date off the concert poster.”

Clara looked around. The part of London they were walking through was one she’d gone clubbing in many times back in her pre-teacher, pre-nanny, pre-Doctor days. In other words, twenty years ahead and an eternity ago. But, except for a few unfamiliar brand-name signs in the shop windows, motors that looked like props from _Life on Mars_ , and the lack of any reference to Oyster cards at the bus stops, it still could easily have been 2017, rather than five years before she was born.

“So, tell me, what did you think of the singer?” the Doctor asked.

“Toni Basil? I thought she was fun. Though she seemed a bit off in her dancing. I remember reading she was a famous dance. But tonight she reminded me of that Left Shark guy who danced with Katy Perry on TV…”

“Well, if you must know about Left Shark, there was this thing involving a Wirrn and I had little time to rehearse and _you_ said you had mark-”

“Don’t spoil a good meme, Doctor,” Clara interrupted (while simultaneously adding that factoid to her blackmail database). “Anyway, her voice was a bit off, too, from what I remember from the record. She kept slurring the words to ‘Mickey.’”

The Doctor couldn’t help but smirk. “Slurring the words?”

“Yeah, she especially seemed to have trouble singing the name, Mickey. It sounded like she was singing something else.”

“What do you think she sang instead?”

“I dunno. It was hard to tell because of all the screamers in the audience. I’ve never been a fan of going to a concert only to take home laryngitis along with a monogrammed T-shirt.”

The Doctor and Clara finally arrived at the TARDIS. He took out his key, a little too slowly for chilly Clara’s liking. “You should have heard the crowds when Ludwig van B. played.” He unlocked the door. “Didn’t Toni look at all a little familiar to you?”

“We were pretty far from the stage. And I’ve seen the music video.”

“What if I were to tell you that this very evening Toni Basil is cloistered in a hotel room two miles south of here, off sick with a head cold?”

Clara looked dubious. “OK, so she sent out an understudy or something to lip-synch? This was the era of Milli Vanilli and if you say that was you too, you won’t get a hug for a week.”

“Oh, you could say it was a substitute.” The Doctor opened the door and motioned Clara inside. “The singer wasn’t slurring the words, Clara. She just changed them a bit. Missy’s been waiting years to pull that stunt.”

We will never know what creative and colourful, Blackpool-accented invective assailed the Doctor’s eardrums after this point, as the TARDIS door slapped closed behind the couple, leaving Clara’s response lost somewhere in the limbo between the Time Vortex and Soho.

**Author's Note:**

> "Death in Heaven" includes the origin of this story's central joke, combined with the fact that Michelle Gomez herself resembles Toni Basil. For those who may not be familiar with the song in question, [here's the music video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aqLwHP4y6Q) for Basil's early-80s classic, "Mickey". Basil was (and still is) an iconic dancer and choreographer whose career dates back to the 1960s when she danced in Elvis Presley movies and 60s TV shows. In the 1980s she also enjoyed a couple of hit records built around her dancing. In "Death in Heaven", Missy plays with the obvious pun. [here's the very brief scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeD_2D1p09k). And I have built stories around less! By the way, although "Mickey" became a massive hit in 1982 worldwide, it was first released in the UK in 1981, hence the year chosen for this. (I will let you look up Milli Vanilli on Wikipedia in your own time.)
> 
> The only other thing worth explaining for the one or two who don't remember (or mercifully forgot) is "Left Shark" refers to a costumed backup dancer during Katy Perry's half-time show at the 2015 Super Bowl who appeared to be dancing out of synch from everyone else and instantly became an Internet meme (and, to some, a mascot of individuality). I was rather stunned to realize this iconic moment happened way back in 2015 - well before Clara and the Doctor parted company.


End file.
